So I started off this month with a blog entry. I talked about how much I loved April, how I have such amazing friends and etc.

Well I can end April saying this has been one of the worst months in a while.

If you read my last entry, I mentioned I was having trouble deciding on a gift for my friend. Well I decided to buy him a bunch of candy and just made him a card. The day after I bought everything, I was on facebook, when I realize I had gotten a new message. That’s usually rare since I usually get wall posts. But I got a message, if you don’t know for facebook messages cannot be seen by others, and it’s from a girl who I don’t even know who threatened to beat me if I didn’t stay away from her friends boyfriend. Which is my best friend.

I was so scared after receiving that message, I could lose my best friend because his girlfriend thinks there is something going on between us, which there really isn’t. The day after, I was in a horrible mood at school. Nothing was going right. So I decided to tell him what had happened and he told me that his relationship was on the rocks. They argued constantly because she doesn’t trust him. He’s really the best guy ever and he would never do anything to hurt his girlfriend. Ever since that, whenever me and him talk at school, his girlfriend is extremely pissed off and I always tell him to cheer her up again. I’m not going to mad if I get ignored once in a while, but they really can’t afford to argue any more.

I’m in a bit of a pickle here. She’s really pissed off with me. And I don’t want to stop talking to my best friend in school just because of a misunderstanding.

Sure, I could talk to her, but from what he’s told me, this time she’s being very unreasonable and isn’t listening to his side of the story. If she doesn’t listen to her own boyfriend, what are the chances that she’ll listen to me?

My next negative thing is that my other best friend, he got really mad at me because I didn’t invite him to come hang out one day with my group of friends. It’s hard to invite him along everywhere when he doesn’t really fit in with us. But he doesn’t get how tight knit the rest of us are already. And as harsh as the things I say to him are, they’re all true. I feel a bit bad for saying them, but at the same time I feel like he really needs to know. So I told him it all, and he got upset. But he apologized after. A lot of my friends say that he likes me… which I really hope he doesn’t because I’d hate to hurt him even more.

Lastly, my mom’s cousin, I’m not sure what you would call that, but early in the month she was diagnosed with liver cancer. Her body has been on a roller coaster, some days she’ll be perfectly fine and awake, while other days the doctor says that she’s in a coma. Everyone is scared for her, the doctor says that she could be leaving us anytime now… I went to visit her once, and she was really skinny and frail. I haven’t seen her in the past weeks because my parents won’t let me, they say that they don’t want me to see such a sight. I’m really scared. Her cancer has begun to spread and has affected her brain already…

Let’s just say April is not my best month…

Sorry for the plainness of this entry, too lazy to bold stuff

I’m oh-so-tempted to start this blog post saying “This is going to be random…” but that’s really how all of mine start out right?

April is looking fine, finally having some sunshine and all the snow is finally melting away! It’s so exciting. Finally being able to walk down the streets without my coat on and flip flops can come back out!

Every year I think to myself. This year. THIS year. This will be the year I find a boyfriend. And I know it sounds silly to say that, but I almost feel that this year I will find one. A few rumours have gone around saying that this guy likes me and so on, but none of them are to my liking. The thing with me having a boyfriend is that… my parents won’t allow it. They think that dating at my age, sixteen, is way too early and that I should be fully focused on schoolwork instead. Though I agree that school should take first priority, I feel that I’m missing out on a chance to date and have fun in high school. If I do decide to date somebody… everything I do will have to be behind my parents’ back. I want to make sure I find a guy that will make it worth it when, or if, my parents find out and yell at me for nights about it. I need to find a guy who I like so much that I’m pretty much able to risk the trust that I share with my parents. It’s hard to say if I’ll actually find a guy, but I’m hoping that this is the year that it all pieces together.

My friend’s birthday is coming up and he is pretty much my closest guy friend. Usually I don’t buy anything for my friend’s birthdays, but I really do want to get him something. The thing is, it can’t be too fancy because he has a girlfriend. And though me and her are really close friends too, I don’t want any misunderstandings going on. So I just decided to buy him something non-personal. I was just thinking a card and a box full of candy and such. But part of me is afraid to give it to him because I really really don’t want his girlfriend to take it wrong and freak out on him. I know that he won’t think of it as anything more than what it is, but from what he’s told me, his girlfriends mind continuously wanders.

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Lately, I’ve either been really happy… or really depressed. It’s a huge mood swing, but when I’m happy. I feel like I’m flying through the sky.

It’s just that… I’ve realized that I’ve finally found a group of friends who I can absolutely trust with almost everything about me. I don’t just have one best friend who I tell everything to, but I have a friend who listens to my family troubles, one for my friendship troubles, boy troubles and etc. I feel like… I have a group of friends to which I finally belong

Also, thanks for all the great advice you gave me regarding my last post. Don’t worry, I haven’t gotten to the point of extreme stalkerish And I assure you that that was a huge ass rant which… though it still bothers me, I can live with it.

I had March Break last week, and then this week is Easter Weekend. I didn’t really use my March Break like I wanted, to do homework and such, instead I worked and went out with friends. I have a lot of note taking to catch up on, so I need to hop on that as soon as possible! This weekend, I’ll be watching Lost. Just the first season, but I still need to make some room for homework. Midterms are coming up… and I really want that 90 average, but to be honest, I’d be extremely happy with a 88. Just don’t tell my mom that

So yes. I’ve been extremely happy lately.

But… I guess a blog entry isn’t complete without a tiny rant

I really hate when people can’t accept others opinions. If I tell someone I really liked a movie, and they say they didn’t like it, that’s totally cool. Different people have different tastes. But to talk to me and say that I’m wrong for liking a movie because the movie was bad and was the worst movie ever made, is just plain stupid. I’m entitled to my own opinion, as is she, but I guess she fails to understand that.

I ordered some CDs online this month, and they finally arrived yesterday! I’m really excited about it! All along, I’ve downloaded music and whatever, but I finally bought some CD’s (they can’t be bought here because they’re from Hong Kong!) and now I feel like I’m supporting my favourite singers Sounds corny, but it’s true!